How to Submit

First, get laid. Not as easy as it sounds, is it? I understand. I’ll wait. Waiting, waiting. Hey, how long is this going to take? It’s just sex, not a law degree. You’re hot! You just need to put yourself out there more. Take a cooking class or something.  Wait, you did it? Good job! Okay, now: In the morning, while your new lover is still asleep, creep out of bed very quietly. Go get your computer. Bring the computer into bed with you. Open your e-mail program and address a message to Stuffwhitepeoplehate@Gmail.com. Write a message that tells me a little bit about who you are, what you were doing, how you met this person in the bed with you. Next look over the side of the bed, at the clothes lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. Describe them to me. What made you decide to wear them? Are they your favorites, and why or why not? When you are finished, hit “send.” Now I will prepare your enthralling (yet completely anonymous) story for the reading public, while you’re free to go do it all again tomorrow night. I will also accept stories from the recent past, or even from some time ago.

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8 Responses to “How to Submit”

  1. […] as I requested, Ariana surveyed the disheveled clothes on her floor this morning and decided to e-mail me. […]

  2. Call me Svetlana Says:

    So, I’m probably not your usual “submitter” – a 20-something girl from a major metropolitan area. I am a divorced mother of two kids in her early 30’s from a smaller mid-western city. In my early 20’s, I could have churned out a story a week for you for this blog; but now that I’ve “matured” (cough, cough) I’ve calmed down quite a bit.
    So here’s my story – Last year my friend was seeing this guy (I’ll call him Joe) and from the moment she introduced us, Joe and I could not stand each other. To be quite honest Joe came off as very arrogant with no social skills what-so-ever. His only redeeming quality was that he was super hot, so I couldn’t figure out what the hell he was doing with my friend – who was a rather big girl. I figured he was just a chubby-chaser. Joe and I eventually learned to get along, but he and my friend didn’t last very long and all of the sudden Joe started showing up at my second job (I was a bartender.) One random Thursday afternoon, Joe showed up and drank a little too much and made it know that he thought I was “incredibly hot” and that he “really wanted to fuck me.” I must tell you that I was running late for work that day and couldn’t find a thing clean to wear and what I had on was a black t-shirt that read “Rehab is for Quitters” and an old light colored pair of American Eagle jeans with the rips in them that were too long and I walked on the bottoms and wore off the hem. Oh, and the shoes were these ivory/off white Roxy slip on tennis shoes with gold designs on them. Needless to say – we met up later that night and got hammered drinking Brooklyn Lager and doing cherry bombs. We ended up at my house and had some of the BEST sex I’ve ever had. On the couch, on the floor, in the kitchen.
    You can look like a hill-rod (even if you’re not one) and still get laid by hot guys.

  3. Have you given up the blog? I would sooo miss this if you did!

  4. Yo where is the blog posts what’s the deal

  5. I don’t have sex problems
    but really adore U.

  6. So I don’t have a submission (though I have a hook-up in mind that I could, if you started writing this again). I’m just begging you to keep this blog going because I just discovered it and it’s my favorite thing and I told all of my friends and now I’m rationing the posts that are here because I’m so afraid to get attached if it’s over. PLEASE.

  7. […] if you’d like to see more updates in this spaces, why not e-mail me and tell me about your recent exploits?  I am currently seeking CTGML stories that feature (1) makeup sex […]

  8. Christian Kreibic blog…

    here are some links to sites that we link to because we think they are worth visiting…

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