Last-Minute Holiday Gift Idea!

This may be a bit off-topic, but here it is:  I’m tired of everyone saying how because there’s a new edition of The Joy of Sex, the original edition is obsolete now and everyone should go replace it (Huffington Post, some other dudes).  One writer says that it’s “time to update” if you still have the old version.  Yes indeed, readers, you do need to “update” if you possess a book that was written earlier than 2008.  Otherwise, you face many dangers — you might find its archaic prose style to be laughable, or you might encounter an opinion that has become unpopular.  Also, the book’s original author never mentions the internet.  Real prescient, Alex Comfort, M.D.!  How am I supposed to learn about sex if there’s no section on how the internet is changing our lives?

Look, America.  The original Joy of Sex is great.  It teaches you that “there are two sorts of sexual joy — having a full orgasm with a person you value, and being a total person yourself” (LOL, truest statement ever), and it has sexy color drawings of people who don’t have all their natural body hair shaved off.  However, it was written in the 70s, and it might contain ideas you do not agree with.  Why not read the book, and then decide which parts you like, and which parts you don’t like?  Not to sound like some dumbass Ian McKaye fan, but think for yourselves, you complacent sheeple!

If your loved one does not own the original Joy of Sex, CTGML is declaring it our hot holiday 2008 gift recommendation.  You can probably find it in a used bookstore.  This book would be especially useful if you need to plan fun activities for all eight nights of Chanukah.  Make sure to get both volumes, because More Joy of Sex has better pictures. (I couldn’t find the illustrations online, but here’s this.)

Postscript: At first I didn’t want to place any blame on this new author, “Susan Quilliam,” whose book I have not seen (I heard it had pictures in it of scrawny indie rockers fucking , so I stayed away).  But today I was doing some research on my computer, and I learned that Quilliam advises people to, in one journalist’s words,  “[not] get hung up on grammar and spelling” when they’re having e-mail sex.  That is the worst advice I have ever heard in my entire life.  If someone sent me a sex e-mail with incorrect grammar and spelling, I would never correspond with them again.

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6 Responses to “Last-Minute Holiday Gift Idea!”

  1. The only excuse for poor spelling or grammar in e-mail or chat sex is if the person KNOWS it’s a problem and is TRYING to incur a spanking.

    Were it not for that horrible advice, I’d be inclined to check it out, because scrawny indie rockers fucking actually sounds kind of cute.

  2. Oh yeah, like in “Secretary.” I might try that if anyone asks me to sex chat with them.

  3. There’s no greater turn-off than “your” when the writer means “you’re.”

  4. PS- Ariel Levy’s article/review of the new edition of Joy of Sex is in the January 5th New Yorker.

  5. Oh bitch, don’t tell ME about the New Yorker! I am all up in the New Yorker! In all seriousness though, that was a good article.

  6. Haha, thanks for the photo link… became one of my most popular shots randomly. If you look closely at the photo you’ll see someone slipped a “Who is God?” brochure into the pages. In San Francisco. Pretty much amazing…

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