“I Asked Him If I Could Eat Some of His Food”

Today I’m presenting you with another story about overcoats and outerwear to get you psyched for the cold weather to come.  That’s what I would claim, at least, if I was aiming for some sort of conceptual unity or overarching rationale between posts.  I do think cold-weather gear is foxier in its way than summer stuff; everyone has to stop wearing fugly nylon athletic shorts, and it’s just so refreshing.  Of course, “Minerva” would never wear such things in the first place; she’s a very a classy lady who got her B.A. at a well-known university in New Hampshire, but is now in graduate school.

Minerva first met Sextus as a college sophomore in 2001, when a friend introduced them in the cafeteria.  He was sitting at a table eating a “huge meal”; she thought he was hot and wanted to flirt with him, “so I asked him if I could eat some of his food.”  He said no!   “I was devastated.”  During that first conversation, she “tried every trick” there was to get his attention, but none of it worked.  She found out later that he had a girlfriend at the time.

They ended up being sort of friends or acquaintances, and when she moved off campus the following year, they became neighbors as well.  The roles got reversed:  He was single, and he tried to holla at her by sending her a “neighborly” e-mail about the shared recycling bins behind the building or some nonsense like that.  This transparent attempt to get her attention didn’t work, because “I was taken.”  The same process may have repeated itself a few times, but in any case, they weren’t both single at the same time until 2003.

Minerva’s college holds a homecoming dance every October.  A what?  We didn’t have that type of thing at the place I went to for undergraduate; we had Drag Ball, Safer Sex Night, and an event called a “bike derby,” in which hundreds of people rode bicycles around in a circle on a big muddy field and tried (successfully) to knock each other over.  Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.  After the dance, Minerva and her friends went to a homecoming-related house party, and she spotted Sextus as soon as she walked in the door.  He saw her too, and they locked eyes.  They both “knew” their night of carnal passion had finally arrived.  (This is Minerva’s account, but she says he agrees with her.)

The carnal passion didn’t start right away, because both of them were involved in talking to friends, and stayed on opposite ends of the room for a long time.  When they finally did walk up to each other, Minverva thinks they said something inane like “wow, it’s taken us a long time to finally talk to each other.”  Literally five minutes after that, the party ended, and people started getting ready to head out to some bar.  Artemis was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but she bundled herself up in a long black peacoat, a scarf and white gloves.  Then they immediately started making out.

See, look how cute that is.  Anyway, having delayed their gratification long enough, they never made it out to that bar.  And they’re still a happy couple today!


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