Thoughts on Aesthetics

UPDATE: There’s a lot of enthusiasm about the “clothes that got me laid” concept, but it is proving more difficult than you’d think to get people to send me their real-life stories. Mostly, it’s hard to go to the trouble of writing a whole e-mail with sentences & words in it (which you have to do to submit to this site). It’s harder to do than just talking while drunk at a bar. I sympathize. If it doesn’t work out, I will turn this into my own personal sex blog. In the meantime, here are some thoughts I had about clothes.

Last week there was a big lecture at the university I’m been studying at this summer. So famous an academic luminary is this person giving this talk that there were no seats left in the auditorium by the time I showed up, so I had to sit on the steps on the side of the room. I was very near foot level , & while I was down there I had the displeasure of seeing many feet clad in athletic sport sandals (TEVAS, & other brands of which I am happily ignorant). Once the lecture was over, I started thinking about this. A lot of times, people who wear “healthy,” athletic-type shoes take it upon themselves to endorse this practice for other people. (MY PARENTS totally do this.) They’re always claiming that if you wear pumps or whatever, your feet will end up hideous, deformed & covered in bunions. The implication is that attractive-shoe wearers will pay the bitter price for their own vanity by ending up with feet much LESS attractive than those of the ugly-shoe wearers. Having seen these feet (the sporty ones) at close range, I refute this claim. The sensible-shoe feet look like medical specimens. All calloused, with long scraggly toenails, ain’t been moisturized since gasoline got expensive. (N.B. I can’t comment on what Crocs wearers’ feet look like because they are mercifully hidden from the world. Thus I declare Tevas to be worse than Crocs.) Sport sandal wearers are HYPOCRITES who don’t really care about their feet at all. If they did, they’d at least slap some lotion on that ash.

I have a lot of questions about ethics & historical trauma on my mind, so perhaps you will permit me some further speculations. People like the ones I’m complaining about at the lecture tend to be very nice & admirable: Obama supporters, environmentalists, academics, etc. (You can find them at your local Unitarian church wearing socks with sandals, intentionally crinkly linen pants, scrunchies and/or turquouise “native American” jewellery.) Why is it that nice liberals inflict this on the world, but the Nazis always dressed so well? I always believed ethics was just a branch of aesthetics, so it doesn’t make sense that there should be such a radical disjunct between the two. Could it be that it’s just a myth that the Nazis were fashionable? Like maybe it was just that one guy Rasmussen who designed the SS uniforms who understood aesthetics, & the rest of the Nazis were a total mess? All complaining at the end of the day, “I can’t wait to get out of this itchy uniform & into my Nazi sweatpants & BIRKENSTOCKS, the true wholesome footwear of the Volksgemeinschaft!” Did Hitler attempt to “decorate” the Reichstag with fugly Indian tapestries & unframed Wagner posters? Did Adolph Eichmann carry all his work stuff around in his old college backpack, even though he could have afforded a nice briefcase? DID EVA BRAUN WEAR A SCRUNCHIE?

P.S. Feel free to name your band “Nazi Sweatpants”; I will come see you play.


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